Dreaded office ‘team building’ generally consists of an organisation of Secret Santa (or ‘oh god, bloody secret santa’). For those of you fortunate to be unfamiliar with this Christmas office routine, I will enlighten you. Each person picks a name out of a hat of a member of the office. The person you pick is who you have to buy a Christmas present for- usually with a £5 budget. Great- go wild.
£5 restricts you to something pretty rubbish from a petrol station. Or something naff from Primark. So rule number 1 is to not get at ALL excited when your Secret Santa hands you their gift. Generally, you will receive something incredibly useful such as a pen (stolen from the stationary cupboard) or a pot of out-of-date chocolate body paint.

When you are choosing your gift, don’t try and be the joker. It is never that funny. So rule out any ‘bright ideas’ of novelty pants or fluffy hand-cuffs. Nobody wants mental images of the person in bed thanks very much. This is the sole occasion it actually pays to be sensible. Five scratch cards is the best Secret Santa present in my opinion. Or failing that, a mini bottle of vodka and a ten pack of fags.

As tempting as it is, try not to be too personal with your present choices. Giving Coffee Breath Colin 10 packets of Wrigley’s Extra maybe hilarious for you and your colleagues, but probably results in suicidal thoughts for poor Col. The same goes for giving Podgy Paula a work-out video. Even if no one technically knows who bought what, that is no excuse to be a little offensive …… http://www.thehandbook.co.uk/news_story.asp?id=43

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