We’ll give you a clue - the former will be perfectly content wandering the ExCel circuit but the latter will be checking out the work of an emerging ceramics artist commissioned by Lady Gaga while sipping biodynamic wine and grazing on vegan delicacies that taste so good that they should rightly be extremely bad for you. (but aren’t)

Yes, there are two food and drink festivals hitting the capital this month.

In the blue corner, we have Taste of Christmas, seasonal partner of Taste of London. The three day festival brings together chefs from Heston Blumenthal to Atul Kochhar and restaurants from Bentley’s Oyster Bar to the Eastside Inn. It’s Frieze Art for gastronomes with a Taste Theatre featuring expert tips, demos and live cookalongs from the great and the good of the culinary establishment, beer masterclasses from Sol to Dos Equis, chocolate tastings from Green & Blacks to Rococo, cheese and port and posh mince pies and generally more sugar and spice than a flambéed Christmas pudd.

So far so good but now for something that will really blow your mind as well as your tastebuds. For in the red corner aka a secret warehouse location in deepest darkest Dalston and for one day only, December 5th, we have Towards a Fluid State (TFS), a seriously edgy food and drink festival brought to us by The Tasting Sessions, part of the Courvoisier 500.

An immersive food and drink experience, it’s divided into five zones over an old motor factory more accustomed to providing backdrops for Vogue shoots and which probably hasn’t seen anything more nutritious than a skim milk latter for, like, forever. Full of amazing props and antiques already, it’s undergone a Gok style make-over by a team of up-and-coming creatives and set designers.

Each zone profiles flights of Cognac, Whisky, Gin, Sake and Biodynamic wines paired with delicious morsels from independent producers while blending in elements of music, contemporary art and fashion from the capital’s hottest emerging creative talent. A truly multi sensory experience!

The Biodynamic zone features wines grown according to the phases of the moon (this is something to do with planting the vines on root days when the earth’s gravitational pull is at its strongest but I’ll leave that one up to the experts) paired with food from SAF, the exclusively botanical fine-dining restaurant from ‘Raw Chef’ Chad Sarno and organic mixologist and sommelier, Joe McCanta.

And then of course, there’s the little matter of the accompanying entertainment. Enter Philip Li - newly graduated from Camberwell College of Art. He’s a ceramicist and installation artist who will create a sculpture around himself as the day progresses. “He turns ceramics on its head and fuses it with fashion,” enthuses Hayley, one of The Tasting Sessions’ sparky founders. “That‘s why we wanted to get him involved as he’s the perfect fit.” Li has just been commissioned by avant garde pop sensation, Lady Gaga to create stage outfits for her upcoming tour.

The gin zone sees the launch of Chase Apple Gin from William Chase - the maverick founder of Tyrrell’s Crisps who’s already brought us his legendary potato vodka plus the Sipsmith boys who brew their own spirits in a micro distillery in Hammersmith – all paired with a royal feast from the 1800s.

And the whisky zone features a bourbon bar and a speakeasy at mezzanine level atop a spiral staircase. Punters sipping whisky and munching on artisan cheese will find themselves serenaded by Plaster of Paris, a gipsy jazz duo who sing about orgasms and play the kazoo amplified through a gramophone for surround sound like no other.

Tasting Sessions founders, Aussies, Hayley Sudbury and Angella Newell plan to rock your world like never before, guarantee you a unique experience, and, as they put it, “an awesome time” but hey, if you’re stuck on how to baste your turkey, you can always do the double.

Towards a Fluid State, Saturday December 5th, Dalston www.towardsafluidstate.com
Taste of Christmas, December 4th – 6th, ExCel www.tasteofchristmas.com